When we fall in love with someone we naturally think that we have so much in common that our needs for love will be expressed and received in the same way. But this isn't necessarily so.
You might feel loved best when your partner speaks words of love to you. Your partner might feel loved best when you do little things for him or her, or when you give gifts.
Ordinarily we express our love to others in the way we enjoy receiving it. It can feel baffling when your partner says that he or she doesn't feel loved, and you've been generously expressing love in your style.
Conversely, it can feel lonely and frustrating when your partner never expresses love to you in the way you can receive it best.
We have great intentions, but our love languages may be different. Our partners need our communication to help them love us in the most effective way for us to feel it. We need their communication to help us love them in the most effective way for them to feel it.
It isn't fair to expect your partner to read your mind and figure this out with no communication. It isn't logical or reasonable to decide that their way is wrong or less real or true than yours. It's just different.
You might feel loved best when your partner speaks words of love to you. Your partner might feel loved best when you do little things for him or her, or when you give gifts.
Ordinarily we express our love to others in the way we enjoy receiving it. It can feel baffling when your partner says that he or she doesn't feel loved, and you've been generously expressing love in your style.
Conversely, it can feel lonely and frustrating when your partner never expresses love to you in the way you can receive it best.
We have great intentions, but our love languages may be different. Our partners need our communication to help them love us in the most effective way for us to feel it. We need their communication to help us love them in the most effective way for them to feel it.
It isn't fair to expect your partner to read your mind and figure this out with no communication. It isn't logical or reasonable to decide that their way is wrong or less real or true than yours. It's just different.
So if you do love your partner, find out what gives him or her the full experience of being loved and practice giving love to him or her in that way.
If your partner's expressions of love aren't matching your way of receiving, gently introduce the topic of different love languages and describe yours. Ask them to describe theirs.
Then you can each request more of what you like best, understanding that your partner's needs aren't a criticism of your ability to love them. It's just a difference in your love languages.
It can enrich both of you to know that your partner feels truly loved, even if you don't quite understand why your partner responds to something different than you do.
If your partner's expressions of love aren't matching your way of receiving, gently introduce the topic of different love languages and describe yours. Ask them to describe theirs.
Then you can each request more of what you like best, understanding that your partner's needs aren't a criticism of your ability to love them. It's just a difference in your love languages.
It can enrich both of you to know that your partner feels truly loved, even if you don't quite understand why your partner responds to something different than you do.
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